Big Expectations

Big Expectations

Hi everyone!

First of all, I want to wish you a very happy new year. I hope 2022 brings you a lot of luck, health, joy and love after this challenging past year.

I celebrated New Year’s Eve with my boyfriend and a few other friends in Amsterdam; it was nice to start the year realizing how much has changed, standing in front of my new home in the city. The life I have created now is what I had hoped for this time last year. Realizing that most of my wishes came true is quite surreal.

The ending of the past year always makes me reflect, which then in turn often makes me nostalgic as well. I believe I wrote something similar to this in my New Year’s blog last year, on that regard, nothing really changed. It is almost as if I am fearful that the past year will be hard to surpass. It is always the case that I long to keep on growing, improving and collecting more and more experiences and memories which I would cherish with pride. Even though there were many downs in 2021, for me personally, there were also a lot of ups: I launched my first poetry bundle, I graduated high school, I met my now-boyfriend, I had an amazing vacation on Fuerteventura, I turned 18, I got my driver’s license, I got accepted at the University of Amsterdam’s Psychology Department, I moved to Amsterdam, I got new jobs as a hostess and as a museum employee, I met new friends, made my way around a new way of living (by myself in a new city), successfully passed all my University courses of the first semester and had a lovely time during the holidays with my family. Writing all of this down makes it real to me how special many moments have been in 2021. It is good to take some time to realize that. On a personal level, this was a very good year for me in which I reached many goals that I had been wanting to reach for years and years. It makes me proud and happy that I have had such a productive year, but on the other hand (as I mentioned earlier), I for some reason feel the pressure to do even better and even more in 2022. There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve, but I hope to actually be able to let go of this strong urge, since it makes it much harder to focus on the enjoyment of moments, if I am only striving to reach goal after goal and tick event after event off my list. Especially since I have noticed that when I try to let go of certain goals, I feel more at ease, more inspired and more energized which will eventually lead to accomplishing my goals. Trying so hard might actually be counterproductive.

It is now January 2nd and I have noticed that I already feel much happier and more confident than yesterday, when I really was absorbed in the thought that I had to start acting now, to really be proud of myself next year. These thoughts actually don’t make a lot of sense to me, especially after the past year. It was then that I realized that the most important things to me are being able to spend time with my loved ones and to spend time relaxing and recharging after doing all the ‘obligated’ tasks (work and university related, though I do enjoy them). Since I already threw some cliches at you, here is another one; most opportunities actually come to you when you least expect them. Being happy and feeling energized and motivated to take on these chances that are presented to you might be the key. This strategy is probably way more effective them pushing yourself over your limits in your efforts to always be ‘on’ and on top of your goals. Don’t get me wrong, if the latter works for you, then that is totally fine, but the last year has taught me that this just doesn’t work for me.

I was not planning on having any New Year’s resolutions, since the unpredictability of the past few years has made it hard for me to try to control most things in such uncertain times. However, trying to worry less about the accomplishments that I feel like I need to have achieved by the end of the year might actually be a wise habit to incorporate in my life. All of this stress is never worth it.

I hope you enjoyed reading this blog. I noticed that it felt very good to get all of this off my chest and to start the new year remembering what I have previously learned whilst highlighting my new ‘plan’. How do you feel right now, at the start of 2022? May it bring you all the good you hoped for :).

See you soon.



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